oh, and perineal massage? the bit about coating my thumbs with vitamin E oil, popping 'em in and stretching "outwards and downwards".

a) there is no room there for a BABY to come out
b) it stings quite a bit
c) I cannot imagine, even with constant massage, there ever being room.

yes, I know, the options are limited. baby is in. baby needs to come out. it's that way or the knife.

I'm not going to think about this any more.