Wednesday, June 19, 2002

the lovely Looby Lu is pregnant; we can look forward to lots of cute baby drawings and droll tales of life in Melbourne with an infant. nice.

I'm not, though.
I checked with my Dr; she says filling my tubes with blue fluid will not stop implanation if we happen to create a mabyebaby just before the op -it's about 5 days after ovulation, by my guess. I find that hard to believe, but she's the doctor.

have decided I will probably stay home from work for three days. at least.

Monday, June 17, 2002

day 26 or so. not pregnant, no.
I had a dream last night that my sister-in-law had her baby - actually due in July - and they named it something like Asia or Ashia. their two sons both have unusual, almost made-up names, so it could even be a proper premonition. they won't tell anyone the name or gender until it's born; I don't think they know the gender. but it would be nice if was a girl. we're not supposed to care, but there are four boys and only one girl, plus a step-nephew, among my nieces and nephews. a girl would be good. Ashia.

Friday, June 14, 2002

this site says the half-life of caffeine in non-pregnant people is 5-7 hours; for pregnant women 18-20.

I also read recently that the normal sleep cycle of 90 minutes is shortened to 60 in new mothers, so they match the baby, or wake often, or something.

all these strange animal things that happen...

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

day 19. how the hell would I know what's going on in there?
surgery in just under 5 weeks. and counting down...

Michelle at Raising Hell had to explain to her son what his testicles were for. Babymaking Education 101; sometimes, saying less is more.

Saturday, June 08, 2002

the toad has something to say about the 'burbs.
funny, I wonder sometimes if that's what I'm becoming: 2.5 kids, prada bag, station wagon. if I'm a wife. which in my 20s was such a not-me thing to be. is this me?
letting the days go by, water flowing under...

Thursday, June 06, 2002

yay elderly primagravidas! (pdf file)

Eden is sending me vibes. I need them, I think.

made an appointment with specialist #1 after all.
we went today and discussed hysteroscopy vs endoscopy.
endoscopy is better for the kind of problems we're looking for.
I told her no hole in the bellybutton, thanks. A scar above or below is OK - it has to be.
also asked if she'd ever punctured anyone's internal organs doing this - well, you have to ask, don't you? - the risk is one in 1000, and she says she's never had it happen. so that's encouraging.
fuck, can't believe I'm saying "oh, it's unlikely my internal organs will be punctured, that's good."


because I want a baby and this is the only way, as I'm not getting pregnant the usual way. because I turned 36 two weeks ago.

the operation is on July 15. I fully plan to talk the whole four-day week off work, maybe do a little work at home. we won't even be living here then; we have to move out for renovations and either house-sit or rent. I hope I can make a little nest there - I think I'm going to feel very, very sooky and sorry for myself.

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