Friday, December 05, 2008

ah, the drive-by comment. fucking bitch.

I'll set the scene: drinks for a friend in a bar. sitting happily listening to some bright young things prattle on. older woman makes eye contact, sits beside me and introduces herself. I sigh inwardly and politely talk to her. she's a spitter - you know, the kind that spray spit on you when they talk. yuk. she is also in the same field as me, so we find things to talk about. she is opinionated. that goes with the territory. the talk turns to blogs. I mention how interesting and dramatic infertility blogs can be, and tell her about getupgrrl. she makes a further comment and the topic turns to surrogacy and the new laws in my state. she offers the opinion that it's exploitation. I wonder aloud about people who have already had kids so they know what's involved, and what if, say, it was for a sister. she says well, it's nine months of physical effort. no different to say donating an organ, I say. I have already mentioned that I wrote something in a forum she well knows (publication) on this topic, so she should have some idea that I have strong feelings on it. further, she doesn't know me from Eve. she has no idea what my situation might be.

she then says "I don't have children, but I would never do that to another person" and - get this - jumps up and walks off, leaving me with no ability to reply. it's not like we were arguing, though the conversation was robust. I briefly considered following her and insisting she allow me to respond. but life is too short. still, not too short for me to probably, one day, have another meeting with her. at which point, depending on how I feel, I may have a thing or two to say. among them: does she make every single decision in her life ethically? does she never buy, say, a T-shirt made in China under possibly exploitative circumstances? does she think women have no right to offer freely to bear a child for another woman? and don't men exploit women when they have babies by them? and finally, why is she suck a fucking toxic coward in the way she deals with other people. if you're going to spray your idiot ideas about, stay fucking put and defend them.

ah, that feels better.

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