Thursday, June 28, 2001

 
oh, and to all the people who come here after searching on strings like "baby + sex + sheep" and "Lollita" (I have spelt that with an extra L so the search engines don't send more slime my way)?
GO AWAY AND CARRY OUT YOUR EVIL PRACTICES ELSEWHERE!!!
Although "nude mexican girls with horses" is a pretty funny search string.

 
so am I in denial or just being normal when I continue to drink a glass of wine or two, and to use caffeine and chocolate to get me through my day?
the boy might buy me a flat-screen monitor to use at work. the radiation is not good. nor are all the flights I've done in the last few years.
our architect's wife is having a baby about right now. one guy I work with is having TWINS (well, is wife is). I'd link to the site but he's the kind of clever person who'd follow the link back and I don't want people I know on this blog. he even has the ultrasounds up.
and my very dear friend H is due in early August. she says I should get on with it so we can be mums together. these things do make a difference. no woman is an island.

 
so am I in denial or just being normal when I continue to drink a glass of wine or two, and to use caffeine and chocolate to get me through my day?
the boy might buy me a flat-screen monitor to use at work. the radiation is not good. nor are all the flights I've done in the last few years.
our architect's wife is having a baby about right now. one guy I work with is having TWINS (well, is wife is). I'd link to the site but he's the kind of clever person who'd follow the link back and I don't want people I know on this blog. he even has the ultrasounds up.
and my very dear friend H is due in early August. she says I should get on with it so we can be mums together. these things do make a difference. no woman is an island.

 
a reminder of why I shouldn't put off this attempt any longer, no matter how much I miss New York and would like to spend at least another day in Venice: an infertility treatment blog

Monday, June 11, 2001

 
gotta be quick b/c the boy wants the PC. I don't think it worked. despite wild dreams the last few nights and not one, but two attacks of feeling really hot, my temperature has failed to rise. in fact it's lower than it usually is at this point in my cycle.
fact: apart from illness/fever, the ONLY reason a woman's temperature stays elevated above the pre-ovulation temperature for 18 days is pregnancy. (I guess there's no such thing as an 18-day luteal phase.) (the luteal phase is the bit between ovulating and menstruating. it's a constant; if your period's late and you're not pregnant it's because you ovulated late.) (and stress, time zone changes and weight loss do affect it, believe me. especially all three at once ...)

Friday, June 08, 2001

 
Last night's dream: that I was shifting into a house that had been occupied by my friends M & M (who have a two-year-old daughter; she has a 12-year-old son as well). There was a lot of stuff to move and unpack, but instead I fell asleep when I was supposed to be going out with them.
It was a big house, lots of timber panelling, back hallways and upstairs attic rooms.But they were moving out because it wasn't big enough for them.
The house across the road was where my mother, or someone like her, was. My friend K, who has two small kids, was also hanging around somewhere.
Then the upstairs part of the house was a big bedroom with a huge, elaborately tiled balcony looking out across the rooftops of inner Melbourne. It was also on Nathan Road, Hong Kong, with the upper deck of the trams looking in, but that's dreams for you.
why am I blogging this here?
because houses have always equalled life in general in my dreams.
and because last night, on Day 15 of my cycle, we had sex without any contraception. we are supposed to be waiting until next month so we can clean out our systems or something, but something told me to go ahead.
it's one way of dealing with ambivalence, innit?
Just do it. (c)

Tuesday, June 05, 2001

 
ps: yes, iron supplements do cause constipation. apparently one needs the chelated variety.
pass the broccoli, spinach and bok choi salad pls.
no pun intended

 
oh my. I don't think I can be as good as this requires.
after spending the weekend, or part of it, reading a book on "better pregnancy" I am supposed to not:
drink alcohol AT ALL
drink coffee AT ALL
ditto Coke
eat chocolate
renovate my house (fumes from solvents and lead paints)
eat sushi, smoked fish, oysters and smoked meat (actually, I was ready for this one)
work at a computer with a conventional monitor
have flown about 20-30 international flights in the past three years (each flight is like an x-ray)
have a small medical problem with my bits that could be passed on to the baby in labor
be 35
be the weight I am (slightly underweight)
be stressed

The only thing I have done right is to be quite fit. so that's something. and it helps that I know when I ovulate (about right now, if you want to know, but we're not doing it this cycle

my head is also spinning with vitamins and minerals I should be taking as well.

oh, and I should r-e-l-a-x

Friday, June 01, 2001

 
we have a dog, the husband and I. we love him lots - he is cute and fluffy yet not yappy, and he is very affectionate.
however, I don't like being called his "Mum" (so the husband calls me that A LOT). he's not a child substitute, he's a very spoiled dog that we adore. there's a difference. plus, the words "child substitute" imply, to me, that there won't be an actual child. and I presume that love the dog though I do, once I have a child it will be kind of more important to me.
which is a complicated way of leading up to a woman who puts up an online shrine to a cat signed your mommie

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