Sunday, June 24, 2012

it is 20 past bloody nine and I should be logging off to start evening wind-down. a week of single mum-ness - dh overseas - both rewarding and frustrating; lots of good kid time and less family conflict. much less work and exercise time for me. and the IVF is managing, despite us not being in a cycle, to take up 1-2 days a week. Tuesday meetings with nurse and billing person. Friday the STUPID uterine biopsy attempt. I mean, I did say it didn't work in the chair last time. but no, dr had to try again. and of course it was painful, borderline humiliating (being left in the chair with a speculum holding my vagina open while she left the room to get different devices, and ultimately probably unsuccessful. so I have to call tomorrow to see if there was enough sample and most likely go in for a general a. next week anyway, thus robbing me of a planned overnight break that was to take the pressure off after this single mum week and the coming holidays. if she'd listened, we would have gone to the general straight away. I seriously don't have time for this faffing about; I have a lot of work and other things to take care of and it's upsetting in a deep way for this to be taking over my life like this again. my cousin gets her IUD out on Monday. so then we're waiting for her to get to day 1 and if all goes well with the counselling, we'll be starting a cycle. my thoughts about that are complicated and I will blog another time. overall I guess it's good. it's hard emotional work, though, going into more uncertainty. later.

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