Tuesday, December 25, 2001

Christmas lunch at the in-laws' starts in 30 minutes. husband is still in the roof fixing the alarm system. sister-in-law wants to be collected on the way. dog is not allowed to go. mother in law and aunt in law are barely speaking, and apparently this is the reason dog has to be left behind. one prepares to grit one's teeth, smile, shut up and pass the gravy. or get totally hammered on champagne.

(I would normally post in my main blog, but methinks husband reads that sometimes)

back down to 97.9 this morning. and feeling bloated, grumpy and premenstrual. ho bloody ho.

Monday, December 24, 2001

my temperature runs low, compared to most people's. I regularly go "off the chart" at the bottom, on the chart I copied from my fertility control book.
this is interesting, because this morning, my temperature was 37.1 degrees celsius, or 98.8 degrees farenheit; not unusually high for humans, but higher than I've ever been without an actual medically diagnosed illness. I have a slight headache, but nothing more than I've had before. and it's Day 24. of course it is way too early to mention this fact even to my husband, and I am trying not to think about it. but what's the point of having a secret babymaking journal if I can't put my thoughts down at least here?

Sunday, December 23, 2001

I wanted to permalink her, but I don't seem to have any html in my template, and I can't be bothered trying to fix it right now.

re: monkey care- there are monkeys on the TV right now, and I have to say baby monkeys are nearly as cute as baby humans. and much fluffier, which I do consider to be an advantage.

this site has records of her pregnancies; one with one, one with two and the current one, which she says is a boy. check out the November 30 post and see if you can see the p-e-n-i-s in the popup window of the ultrasound.
(that spelling out may look stupid, but I really can't be bothered with getting all the searches for young human beings in conjunction with male bits.)

abc radio had an interesting segment the other day; all about whether elite athletes actually improve their performance after having babies. they had two distance runners who thought so; and apparently the changes in pregnancy - increased circulation and so on - are similar to those displayed by athletes in heavy training.
I didn't get the name of the US doctor who's done some research in this - I was driving when I heard it - but I do regular exercies and the post-baby situation concerns me. I found a home-made female athlete's pregnancy page, which is a start.

Friday, December 21, 2001

don't know why, but I have a good feeling this time around. only day 21. no clear signs.

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

our Web is down, but I can still write my journal offline, right?
no,it's not really the same.

child "moment" #1; visiting a toy store in a nearby suburb looking for presents for assorted friends' kids and nephews; it was quite fun looking at all the clever (and overpriced) objects designed to stimulate and enthrall; until several actual small children, babies really, arrived with their parents and began bawling at top volume. suddenly the charming little shop was a claustrophobic overcrowded space that you couldn't move around without tripping over a pram, and FULL of noise. yes, I know I should expect that in a toy store...

moment #2: going to lunch at a friends' place, with her sister-in-law and baby (9 mths) a mutual friend and her baby (4 mths) and the 2 1/2 year-old daughter of friend #1. after lunch the kiddie books and cute tapes came out and they all focussed in our getting their kids to sleep/read/and so on. and I sat there kind of thinking "so what exactly is my role in all this?"

moment #3: going to my brothers' place for dinner last night. my sister-in-law arriving home with the 3 year old and the 15-month-old. the 15-month old waddling after me and his toy penguin, giggling, waving his fat little arms, beaming under his pile of golden-red curls.

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Can monkey baby care be a positive experience? Yes, but only if you are committed, well-prepared, and well-informed ahead of time. To what degree is this possible? What if monkey baby care is harder than you though it would be? Are you flexible in your expectations? Will you remain committed in the face of all difficulties? . ... Taking care of a monkey baby is not a simple task. Monkeys babies have complex social/emotional needs that change with their different life-stages. Monkeys babies do best with patient, well-educated, mature caretakers who have creative problem solving skills--ones who are committed for the long haul and want to give monkeys babies a permanent and satisfying home. Caretakers best suited for the job tend to be people who have had positive results (1) parenting children caring for monkeys, or (2) working with other intelligent social creatures such as dogs or parrots, or other exotic animals.

via Chris

hey, now that he's going to have a teenaged son rather than a teenage daughter, I wonder if the dating rules still apply?

AND, ladeez an' gennelmen, will you welcome, IN the babyblog corner: Benjamin Ian, 9 lb 15.5 oz

my friend emails me:

"Are we really old enough. Do I really want to be saddled with a little life sucking thing who will never appreciate the sacrifices I have made, with time, my body, my self esteem??"

and she's not even (going to be) a Jewish mother!

Tuesday, December 11, 2001

so we've tried the careful charting, every-second-day-while-possibly-fertile approach for four months and got exactly nowhere.
this time, it's carpet bombing. every single day from day 10 (yesterday) to about day 17. whether we feel like it or not.
I mean, I'm not exactly worried about it. but I would like to establish whether in fact we have a problem, so we can do something about it sooner rather than later, if there is.

Saturday, December 08, 2001

babyblog is one day past due. and there's an amazing photo of just how much baby is waiting to come out. how exciting.
I guess if he suddenly stops posting for a day or two, we know something's happening. I hope he doesn't stop now, or at least puts up one photo of the result.

I want to go travelling; to visit New York again, to hang around in Barcelona, go walking in New Zealand.
I'm thinking of taking on yet another degree. There are things I'd like to do at work, if I can make them fit in with my "job description".
I also want to have a baby and stay home with it while it's small. If I choose to go away for more than a couple of weeks, I have to miss a conception cycle. I'm 35. If the current attempts don't work out, we'll be looking at medical intervention early next year, which will tie me even closer to home.
is this called ambivalence?

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