Wednesday, October 31, 2001

hooray! am planning/dreaming my own little escape to New York as a kind of self-funded, tax-deductible work junket.
and it seems my chosen fortnight falls neatly between two ovulations.
of course, if I'm pregnant, long plane flights and radiation are a bad idea.
but if I'm not, and sort of if I am, I still want to do some things with my life before I get round and slow and then surrounded by little creatures who need me. nice as that will be.

and if I do this, I'll go from New York and suits and conferences to the wilds of Tasmania within a single month. which appeals.

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

metafilter readers diss baby blogs
hey guys, no one is forcing you to read them! unlike the planet, cyberspace is infinite and big enough for all of us.

Thursday, October 25, 2001

excuse me. I have to go and try to make a baby now. with help from my beautiful assistant, of course.

I have decided that it would be good if babies arrived furry.
then they would be as cute as puppies or kittens.
it would keep them warm. it would make them nice to stroke.
and when they got to 3 or 4 they could lose the fur.
some people would probably not lose their fur completely and be monkey-men and women.

don't laugh. if it was the way it was, you wouldn't think there was anything the least unusual about it...

Thursday, October 18, 2001

Not that I'm up to names yet, but Bob The Corgi has some insights into thinking up new names. Should I call my firstborn Nike for the sponsorship? Actually, Reebok is sort of cute...

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

is it a bit sick to hold the dog's front legs up waving bye-bye to my husband while saying "bye Daddy, have a nice day, we'll just stay home and watch PlaySchool and fingerpaint"?

it was ironic, truly.

husband asked: and what's the dog going to do?

Sunday, October 14, 2001

lazy blog: from my letter to my friend who is living in an isolated mining town and is also wanting to get pregnant (it's very boring up there, so having babies is the women's only entertainment apart from alcoholism) I wrote all this off the top of my head; it's amazing how well I've "internalised" the Rules For Making Babies.

>As for babies, I have heard enough stories here about how hard it is
>on your body in your 30's to be absolutely convinced sooner is far
>better than later. Biologically, we really are supposed to do it in
>our 20's, just not psychologically.

biologically we start at 18 and go on to 45. we are so lucky not to have to produce children all our lives. I can see why people became nuns or spinsters pre-pill.

re: ovulation. Um, you need to take your temperature first thing every morning and mark it on a chart. when it goes up and stays up (about 36.7 degrees or more if you're me, from a low of about 35.6) you have ovulated and it's too late. if you do it right, the change in the overall pattern is very marked. it drops again just before or in the first day or 2 of your period. this is useful for getting an idea when you ovulate, especially if you're very regular. if you write down major stresses on your chart, you can sometimes tell what has delayed ovulation.

the time between ovulation and your period is always the same; most women about 12-16 days. if you are pregnant your temperature will go up and stay up for 18 days in a row, and at that point it is almost certain. it sometimes goes up even higher than usual, like 37 degrees. this is useful for telling if you are conceiving and then miscarrying rather than just having late periods.

after three days after ovulation you have NO CHANCE of getting pregnant until about five days into your next period. I'll skip all the rest of the contraception stuff for now. it's very effective, though.

ovulation signs: cervical fluid becomes more like eggwhite or seminal fluid (if you are lucky). this is the best stuff for sperm to live in. if you get this, the best day to have sex is the last day of this fluid. otherwise it might only change to be a bit like moisturizer.

cervix moves up into your body and opens up a bit. the only way to tell this is to check regularly and get an idea what's low and closed (infertile) and what's high and open (fertile).

some women get small cramps or breast tenderness when they ovulate. again, writing it all down daily gives you a pattern to look back on.

so when you're approaching ovulation is the best time to have sex (unless male's sperm count is low. then you need to save it up for the very "peak" day of ovulation or at least limit it to every 2 days or so to allow the sperm to build up).

girls are more likely if you have sex a couple of days before ovulation (but overall conception less likely, of course). boys are more likely if you have sex right on ovulation. this is because male sperm are not so hardy; female ones live longer so by the time you ovulate all the boy ones are gone. anyway, that's the theory. but if, like me, the eggwhite fluid is rare, you want to be hitting it right on the mark.

the book is really good on all this and many other things. you should order it from Amazon: Toni Weschler, "taking charge of your fertility". I can't send it to you cause I need it, at least until I get pregnant ...

oh, and my other book says you should both give up everything except macrobiotic brown rice and spring water. failing that, you MUST take folate tablets. leafy green veg isn't enough. if you can't get them there, tell me and I'll send you some like tomorrow.

also get your iron levels checked next time you find a doctor with a clean needle. mine were very low (about a point off official anaemia). I got some chelated iron (specially processed so it doesn't cause constipation, which regular tablets do) and although I still get sleepy, I've felt physically stronger every since. the second you get pregnant your iron levels go through the floor, apparently.

Friday, October 12, 2001

Wifework is making me think Susan Maushart's problem was not so much the patriarchal nature of society as her own doormat urges.
but she does have some points. and sometimes I do have to make a Big Effort not to pick up after the boy, or not do washing when I'd rather read the paper.
but I make the effort, dammit! I know in my heart that constructive laziness is better for my relationship than martyrdom. and boys just don't notice whether the dishes are done or not.

why, I'm heroically not putting away a pile of clean washing right now. there has to be something for him to do when he gets home from his business trip tomorrow...

Thursday, October 11, 2001

Like I said: I'm not pregnant.
Not even a little bit.
oh well. at least I can have a glass of wine with dinner for the next two weeks without feeling guilty.

I've solved the sudden jump in my traffic. It's Chris's fault (via Osama Bin Laden): Incredible. The last 24 hours has seen this site net over 1000 hits due to bin Laden related searches. That's the equivalent of 3 months of hits in one day.

so he puts up a few keywords to get traffic, and a few of his hordes leak through to me.

oh well. I guess war-related traffic is a change from the you-know-what that I can't mention for fear of getting even more of it. But one last time: There is no k-i-d-d-i-e s-e-x here!!!

I have such a headache today.

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

I say again: Men!

I was just starting to read Susan Maushart's polemic on how bad marriage is for women, Wifework and I said to my husband: "sometime I must get you to tell me what you think a wife is."

so he said: "I don't think of you as a wife per se, I think of you as my friend and partner," thereby defusing any personal-as-political stroppiness I might have been working up to.


Friday, October 05, 2001

Surely the military have got better things to do than spending 3:47 minutes looking at six pages of my site?

no bombs here, sir. just baby thoughts.

Well, despite my temperature still being just under 98 degrees and my breasts being unusually tender earlier than normal, I am quite sure I am not pregnant.

I know this because ten minutes ago I was storming around the kitchen, throwing things from the dishwasher into the cupboards while my coffee went cold, cursing my husband with questions about how bloody hard is it anyway to empty a bloody dishwasher, on the verge of tears and feeling so tense my shoulder has started to throb.

fortunately my husband was not here to see it all. I have, however, emailed him cancelling our tentative drinks date for tonight on the basis of having too much housework to do.

while I know my anger and tears are irrational (I get like this at least once each month, about five days before my period) I do have a point; in my week off I have done all the dishes, all the cooking, supervised various things to do with the renovation and am about to do another huge pile of washing while the last lot I washed a week ago still sits on the bed in the spare room.

emptying the dishwasher and putting clean washing away are his jobs. sorting, washing, hanging out and bringing in the washing, cooking and washing any delicate dishes are my jobs. when we drew up a schedule for household work, I knowingly took on twice as much as him, because it would have been an improvement. he has an uncanny male ability to just see straight through things. I think what really got me was that he did a load of washing last night; but when I opened the machine, I found it was just a load of his shirts. nothing else. should I hang them on the line or squash them firmly into a plastic back, stick a rock on them and leave them out in the sun so they go all wrinkled and musty?

Thursday, October 04, 2001

I really should stop looking at my referral logs. they only depress me. How am I supposed to use this space to think lofty thoughts about motherhood when there are guys out there looking for pix of people relieving themselves?
sheesh, anyone would think being a mom (edit: mum. I've been spending too much time in Yank cyberspace!) was a scatalogical experience. oh, that's right, it is.

I've renovated. Sorry about the bright pink title. but this is my space and I'll paint it any colour I like.

day 23. temperature 98 degrees. wasn't it easier back in the days when you weren't pregnant until you felt "the quickening"?

except that in those days, you were likely to feel the damn thing ten times or so in a lifetime. ouch.

post-ovulation sex drought is well underway. well, there were quite a few x's.

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

hey, the guy at babyblog has linked me. must get my permalinks working.
he has some way cool new photos of the belly.

day 21: it's like being an ancient ?what did they call those forecasting dudes in the long robes? something-mancer? - anyway, I scan my body and the thermometer for that first piece of evidence: is my temperature up or did I just sleep badly? is that premenstrual swelling, or are my breast trying to tell me something?

I may as well go outside and examine the clouds for signs...

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