Wednesday, March 09, 2016

quick post to mark the fact that tomorrow I go into hospital and on Friday I am getting the massive TRAM flap surgery. 6 hours under, 6 days in hospital and 6 week recovery (plus a bit longer probably). plus a further operating in 6 months to make a nipple and tidy things up.

am I happy about it? no.

but it's what I've decided to do.

scared, annoyed that my summer is being cut short, sad about the new scar it'll leave on my stomach. horrified at the cost. worried about leaving A and R to their dad's mercy for a week and how much R might miss me.

and maybe a tiny bit looking forward to never wearing this prosthesis again, never being anxious about people seeing down my top. hoping it will make me feel somewhat normal.

it'd bloody better. it's going to huuuurt.

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