Thursday, January 13, 2011

you know what I hate? I hate it when I keep calm and not too hopeful while harbouring a little bit of confidence for TWO WHOLE WEEKS (plus a day because the pathology queue was so long yesterday I gave up and tested today), and then when the nurse calls she's all chirpy and nice and I think this is because yes, I was right, I am pregnant.

and then she goes all "I'm soooo soooorrry it was negative on this occasion" and all I want to do is get off the fucking phone and cry. and of course my kid is asleep in the other room and may wake up any minute so I can't cry and typing this is supposed to make me feel better but really all it's doing is making me cry.

I hate that.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Dec 30 tx: at a near-abandoned clinic at 3.30 in the afternoon. by myself, kid off with husband and grandparents.

four cell emby grown to six; relatively better behaved than the last two. didn't have my inside glasses so only saw a blur on the screen though there seemed to be a darker patch - a larger cell or something?

test Jan 12. bit more hopeful this time. bizarrely certain that it's - can't say "a girl" - genetically female.

gotta run. actual child just came home from the movies...

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