Wednesday, August 01, 2012

time for another quick update: final counselling, bloods, nurses etc yesterday; 5 hours of it involving all 4 us us plus K's two kids. fairly intense. luckily counsellor less annoying; I think once she met K and her partner she realised we had our shit together and there wasn't really that much to talk about. we actually have a pretty firm schedule now; K and I will both be on the Pill by the end of this week and we can set the down regulation scan by when we start sniffing Synarel; so we are looking at an OPU and possible transfer early October. I am not, though, excited. I am exhausted by all this, still overwhelmed by the time it's taking, both in terms of delays and time out of real life, unwilling to be hopeful of a real baby and at times unsure that's actually what I want. then again, I am pretty much in love with K's younger daughter in particular, and I still get that wave of feeling when I see a newborn. still, K is doing it all for no reason except generosity. so I am quietly cancelling other things and fitting in with her schedule and trying to work out when I can get over to babysit etc while she's in the cycle. and today at A's hockey practice - he is doing hockey and really enjoying it and I think the physical/social side of it is great for his general development - a mum with 2 boys and a girl was relating the story of how one boy punched the others and said to me "you're lucky you've got one, you don't get this fighting" and I had to hold back the tears. she is a nice person but don't people realise by now how clueless comments like that are?

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