Thursday, July 31, 2003

whingey post: the hip is actually my pelvis. sometimes I really can hardly walk. pivoting, carrying or balancing are out of the question.
the wonderful relaxin is the thing that allows the pelvis to separate so the baby can get out. but it was so easy to get in there!!!
anyway, it's the back right joint that has got inflamed. I have exercises to do to strengthen my pelvic girdle, I'm supposed to put ice packs on it every 2 hours, and I have another appt with the physio in a week. to put things in perspective, I lost my umbrella at the hospital. I know where I left it - outside the consulting room - but it was gone afterwards.
so I went to check at reception. just as I got there, a loud noise sounded, followed by an announcement: "code blue, suite 121, Victoria St". suddenly formerly immobile medical types began to move. I don't know what a code blue is, but I know I never want a doctor to run that fast to get to me.
felt stupid asking about the umbrella after that. anyway, it wasn't there. and if I take care of this pelvis, mainly by not walking (!), it will get better. probably after the baby comes.

meantime, dh had organised stupid blind fitters to come and tell us how to decorate our house for tonight. I pretty much lost it afterwards; have now not actually done the exercises, or much that I needed to cross off my to-do list. constant pain does not make one a nicer person to be around, you know. he's sick too, but it's just a cold; I got upset, then he was really nice and sympathetic, then of course I blubbered. I think I need another week off, a real one this time, where I rest instead of getting things done. as if.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

a friend told me on the phone today that her dh was making a list of features from his and her families he'd like their kids to have. funny what you can say to some people and not others. I said well, he should be grateful to have any babies at all - let alone get her to produce them (she's a gorgeous, slim, wildly successful professional). i guess I could say that because I knew she'd take it the right way, and not be offended. but it felt good to be able to speak my mind about something.
on my discussion board, some women with sons are saying that people sympathise with them when they hear they're having yet another boy! the sheer hubris of wanting to choose anything when some people never even get to choose children, full stop.

the lovely tracy is heading for OPU today with 18 follies on board. send her baby vibes.

Sarah, who is pg in Melbourne, has linked to me from her Happenings blog.

quick blog as dh has decided to crash my week off by being sick(ish) and needs me to talk to him, needs computer access, etc.

ob visit yesterday; very pro forma, haven't put on as much weight as I thought, in three weeks I need a shot of anti-D for the blood type problem and a glucose challenge test.

it's called this because it will be a huge challenge to have NO sweet foods for 24 hours before my appt. no chocolate. no honey. no sultanas. no OJ. how will I cope?

have physio appt tomorrow for hip. If I could only hop on the other leg I'd be fine. but I don't have the balance and can you imagine what I'd look like; a beach ball on a pogo stick!

second touchy-feely birth group class thing last night. it ran overtime due to someone wanting to discuss breastfeeding; then we did a "mandala", which is a circle cut into segments representing elements of our lives affected by birth/babies, and our reaadiness for same, ie emotional, physical, life in the world, family feelings, relationships. I'm sure it will be useful when I sit down and think the elements through, but by the end, I was looking at my cut-up circle and only seeing the takeaway pizza dh had ordered and I was late to pick up...

began calling councils re: childcare today. it's all too complicated. you have to be ready to take up a place to go on a family day care waiting list. they're going to send me a list of public/private centres. and there are FOUR councils in areas close to us.

two of the women at my class last night said they hadn't been able to embrace their pregnancies until after the scans, even though they were "planned" pgs: I wondered if they were IVFers?

apart from one narky letter criticising my description of DINKs as selfish -which I only meant to apply to me and dh - have had nothing but lovebombing and praise and gratitude from friends/readers/other women doing or about to do IVF from my article. seems it's some kind of breakthrough to talk honestly about this stuff in public.

supposedly going shopping for more maternity stuff today. but so busy. how do I get all this done AND work normally? probably by not doing either right.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

damn. no, it didn't get better. and of course we needed to move heaps of stuff this weekend. I am a poor little cripple, sob sob. sore legs, hip gives way if I so much as put my foot down. must sit more.

v. busy due to moving. but need to remember two dreams: being taken to see my great grandmother - who was actually my grandma, who died about four years ago - it was so nice to see her and give her a hug. she was on some kind of podium/shrine thing, they'd had to bring her out from the home.

and last night, being kicked in the guts and trying to sleep with sore hip, I dreamt I saw the shape of the baby's hand, fingers and all, emerging from my taut skin.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

ouch ouch ouch.
walked all over the Vic Market carrying stuff this morning, plus a stressful day beating up banks, and had to walk to various places to sort *that* out. now I can hardly walk at all. right hip (sciatic nerve?) is cactus. it helps if I keep my leg totally stiff and my glute muscle taut with each step; must look pretty funny though.

baby is totally beating me up every night now. I love it. I don't feel much when I'm rushing around/working, but the second I lie down, off he/she goes.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

first supposed relaxation class last night.
there's a stand-in midwife until two weeks from now; I think I'll be happier when the usual woman comes back. I mean, it was OK, but basically consisted of us all sitting in a circle on the floor (on cushions, but after 45 minutes I was getting a bit wriggly) while a couple gave us their terribly interesting, to them, birth story for over an hour.
I'd been looking forward to some some stretches, some real information, maybe a little breathing. as the exercise program I set myself up has gone out the window since the move and the unpleasant thrush/rash the perineal massage seemed to give me (will try again with a different lubricant soon).
next week is some hippy mandala-based rite of passage
there were about 10-12 women there, all HUGE of course. I kept visualising how we'd look if you had x-ray vision - a circle of women with a circle of babies in front of them.
the baby the birth couple brought in was cute and all at two weeks old, but I'm just not that clucky over other people's babies. I was just as interested in their nifty 3-wheeler pram.

Monday, July 21, 2003

25 weeks. no extra weight. that's two weeks in a row. must eat more; but it's easier to get overfull these days.
my little piece went in the paper yesterday; some very nice feedback not only from colleagues but also from a couple of women who read it and have either done/will do IVF. so it was all worth it.
not much else to say. having the house back and the unpacking are keeping me busy, and besides, we have no Web access @ home so I have to restrict my at-work bloggin.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

still hate electrician. it will take weeks to finish the house. I'm taking a week off in a coupla weeks, partly to give tradies access, partly to rest. the two activities (tradies in house and rest) are mutually incompatible. but then it's better than adding work into the mix.

oh, and last night in the new bath: MY BELLY MOVED!

visibly jumped. the baby was really going for it. I just laughed and laughed.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

yes, I've been offline.
moving. deeply stressed. hate electrician. no Web at home. lucky to have power, let alone internet.
all else (ie Mr Wibbly) is fine.
24 weeks yesterday. no weight gain. still riding bike.

no time to blog, behind on work.


Thursday, July 10, 2003

oh how cool. people are adding names to our names wiki!

thank you all. I might set up a feeback page on the wiki about the ones we like and why; Iris, for instance, is a gorgeous name but one of our friends has already snaffled it for her girl, now four.

the more I think about it, the nicer it is that those names are appearing.

(on another note: some new ad system seems to be making whole pages about baby products pop up sometimes when I open this site; sorry about that, what can I do, Blogger is free, etc.)

this will be a work in progress, and I won't send it until "afterwards". but it will make me feel better to write it now.

Dear (whoever)

I thought you might be interested in some feedback on your childbirth classes and the way they're organised.
I was initially booked in at the Freemasons', then switched to Frances Perry House.
I was surprised at the difference between the way the two hospitals did things, and unfortunately not favourably.

We attended Saturday morning tours at both hospitals; at the Freemasons these were taken by a senior midwife. At Frances Perry the tour was conducted by a ward clerk who, although meaning well, was unable to answer any questions at all in a meaningful way.

Despite this, on medical advice I chose to come to Frances Perry. By about the eighth week of my pregnancy the Freemasons' had already sent me choices of dates for classes, plus a booking for an early orientation night, which included a usefuls session with a physiotherapist.

By contrast, there was no information on exactly what classes were to be run at Frances Perry, when or where, until my 22nd week of pregnancy. Some classes have a recommended date range beginning at 20 weeks. I did call the hospital to try to find out about classes before that time, and felt that once I reached her (the contact hours are very limited) the bookings person was at least offhand, if not dismissive.

After those calls, I was concerned enough to make an appointment with your midwife co-ordinator. She reassured me that the hospital itself did not "process" patients as I felt the classes system was processing me, and if she had not been so reassuring, I would probably have taken up the option I still had to go to the Freemasons.

When I received the actual information on classes, I was disappointed to see they were not run at the hospital, as I was very keen to ensure that I was familiar with the rooms and equipment before the birth. I found that the length and timing of evening classes was difficult to work with; where the Freemasons' runs six two-hour sessions in successive weeks, Frances Perry requires women who need to attend evening classes to commit to a 3.5 hour class. For many of us, that makes a very long day after a full days' work, and I don't think it's conducive to learning, especially of exercises and information which may raise anxiety in some attendees. I would have liked to participate in the research study that was offered to attendees, but the extra half-hour tacked onto the classes would have been too much for me; I've told the researcher as much.

I was also disappointed at the way the classes were shorter in total duration than at other hospitals, and that by picking and choosing between sessions, we lost the chance to go through the process with other expectant parents as a group.

The material sent out was insufficiently detailed; it referred to a breastfeeding handbook that was not included (when I called to check, I was told "it should have been in your initial booking information" - wouldn't it be better to note this on the letter that refers to it than have patients have to phone in about it?). The booklet that was sent out is clearly part of a pair, constantly referring to the matching book for fathers for further information on important matters. When I inquired about that, I was told to send off the form in the book. I don't mind particularly that there is an extra charge for that, but I was surprised that Fiona seemed unaware that the charge existed. Again, she seemed to want to get off the phone as soon as she could.

Our concerns were sufficient that I booked into private classes to ensure we were fully prepared for the birth.

I drafted this letter before the birth, and I know that the situation added to my concerns about being able to have the kind of birth experience I would like to have; your preparation classes and tours are the main contact patients have with your hospital before birth (especially when classes are held offsite), and I'm sad to say that the impression they gave me were of a place that processes women without giving them full information, and that doesn't have time to discuss their needs with them, to the point where a large part of my preparation is now about making sure the hospital's procedures don't override my wishes and particular needs during the birth.

As I said, your midwife co-ordinator gave the opposite impression, telling me that the birth could be close to a birth centre experience if I wished.

...bit about how it actually went

I'm not looking for any particular response, although I would like to hear back from you so I know you've read my letter. I simply thought you should know about these concerns; I'm sure I'm not alone in them.



Wednesday, July 09, 2003

wasted 1/2 an hour trying on bras at Myer.
clearly I've gone up a cup size. but the 12 was too tight around my body, the 14 too floppy in the cup. and so on.
they were too busy to do the proper fitting thing - no, I was in too much of a hurry.
nothing like the department store 3-way mirror and fluorescent light to really show you how much your body has changed.

oh, and perineal massage? the bit about coating my thumbs with vitamin E oil, popping 'em in and stretching "outwards and downwards".

a) there is no room there for a BABY to come out
b) it stings quite a bit
c) I cannot imagine, even with constant massage, there ever being room.

yes, I know, the options are limited. baby is in. baby needs to come out. it's that way or the knife.

I'm not going to think about this any more.

cool. an editable Web page where we can store baby names.
hey, I trust you lot. go on over and suggest some. really.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003 has a list of most popular recent names.
ones to avoid? at least the top ten, anywa.


and so on.

last night we started my so-called exercise program. Mondays and Thursdays, dh is supposed to help me learn birth relaxation methods for 1/2 an hour. other nights I'll be doing stretches, positions, squats, and always, always, pelvic floor exercises (think he was horrified to realise that it wasn't just about my bladder control, but other intimate functions as well!)

so I lay on the floor on a mat tensing my arms/legs/abdomen going ''eeewww'' as if I was in labour. he was trying to put his hands on me in a firm relaxing way to teach me to respond by relaxing. but the dog wanted in on the act and it was all too silly. I guess we'll get better at it.

the birth educator whose weekend course I've signed up for is currently away. I've emailed asking if she'll be back in time for the late august weekend; not sure I want to spend $400 on a ring-in.

really have to do something about names.

bella (for our neighbour who is 90+, has no English, and points at our house and says "Bella Casa!")
jessica kate (for Jessica Anderson and the dr who treated us)
louise (for Louise Brown and my middle name)
Leila (as in the Dr Who character: "let me KILL him, Doctor!")
katherine (kate, kitty)
Lola (no hope, but I kind of like it)
Lucy (as in Ballad of..)
Miranda (a doll I used to have, and a poem)

samuel john (for dh's grandfather and middle name)
felix (dh won't let me have that, pout!)

better work, more later.

we're not allowed to have nouns, apparently, eg not Ivy or Ruby.

Monday, July 07, 2003

the swans that have been nesting on the island in the lake in the park across the road from our flat have finished nesting.
they have six new cygnets. it's the talk of the dog-walkers.
they were out by at least Friday; on Sunday we saw them all plop into the water and swim around the side of the island between their parents.
now they're in a second nest on the other side of the island.I'm so pleased; I thought they wouldn't hatch before we moved out. it seems early, being the start of winter, but I'm sure the swans know what they're doing.

Saturday, July 05, 2003

a day of tent maternity clothes shopping. spent about $300 and still have hardly anything to wear. looks like it's all black pants, floppy tops and jeans with huge elastic bits from here on in...

Friday, July 04, 2003

have found the site my friend was talking about.
the hospital's education classes are run in a downright shoddy manner.
there are three: one on birth, one on parenting, and one on feeding.
the first two take 3 1/2 hours each, on either a precious Saturday morning or an exhausting weeknight until 10pm.
the feeding one runs 2.5 hours.
at the other hospital, classes ran for six weeks, two hours a night on a choice of nights. my hospital also runs these classes at a HOTEL, not at the hospital.
and I've only just got the info (at 22 weeks), but some classes can start at 24 weeks. all pretty sucky. especially the hotel bit; what happened to familiarising yourself with the environment? this is what worried me about a big, privately-run hospital. hmmm.

however, a pregnant friend at work has put me onto this private birth educator, who runs weekly relaxation and preparation, as well as weekend workshops.
now I just have to see if I can get a booking with her classes BEFORE the stupid hospital ones.

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

is this what it's like to have large breasts? (and won't that get me some hits?)
people walk towards me, look at my face, and then their eyes drop. and drop. hooray for baby belly.

another IVF ttc blog. wish her luck. she seems to have a good attitude: "He really can't complain--I'm the one who will get bled and poked and prodded a hundred times, when all he has to do is be stuck with a needle once and then grope himself to a picture of Miss August"

well, that's a relief. the editor who commissioned my piece on all this has handed back to the original editor (who was on maternity leave).
this had the potential to really stuff up the piece; I so didn't want to do it all over again to a new brief.
but she thinks it will be OK
just have to add a few factoids, which are readily available from the infertility treatment authority's report on IVF success rates in Victoria.

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

mmm, shopping.

why, when I tell them the edd, do people say "oh, a Scorpio" in a knowing voice?
a) who %#$# cares what star sign it is?
b) what's wrong with being a Scorpio?
c) who CARES!?!?

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