Friday, April 26, 2002

 
day 30: the usual.
I have decided that I probably had PID or chlamydia sometime in the past (I was tested once, but I think they can miss it).
therefore my tubes are probably a grotesque mess and the eggs aren't getting through.
therefore there is no way I'm getting pregnant without surgery etc.
and I should be booking in RIGHT NOW.
but I'm not. I'm going ahead with the plan that involves doing the surgery at the end of the year. I turn 36 next week. the risks of Down's Syndrome etc are rising all the time. but if I go to IVF, we can get a couple of spare embryos tucked away, I hope.
and maybe something will click. it's been a year of cycles now, of which 8 or 9 were red-hot hits on my day of ovulation, and nothing. not even a miscarriage. I'd like to have had a miscarriage. at least I'd know I can conceive.
husband is happy enough with above plan, though would probably like me to go to surgery earlier if we're sure there is a problem.

meanwhile I intend to enjoy the good aspects of childlessness.

waaah!!!

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