Wednesday, July 31, 2002

 
it's been a rough couple of days. I've been emotional and weepy and tense, and last night had a huge meltdown, yelled at husband while I was doing the dishes in tears, then cried for ages in the shower. fun stuff. I'm really busy at work and in general and I think I hadn't given myself enough time to get the feel of my new situation.
plus yesterday was the day I was supposed to see the IVF dr in the famous cancelled appt, and I was angry with myself.
i spoke to dr #1, who said it would be good to see if the operation(s) cleared anything up, but I don't think it's likely.

so today I finally called the second dr's office to get pushy. they were very nice. I told them I'll be away in early Sep, which was my excuse for reminding them I'm on the waiting list. then I asked if there was a waiting list for IVF and if I should be getting on that now rather than when I see dr at end of sep. receptionist said if dr decided IVF was for me, it would only be a couple of weeks before they could get me "seeing the nurses" which I guess means getting the first shots or something.
so I feel hugely relieved, as I wouldn't be starting this month even if I did have that appt, because I'll be away. so really, we're only losing two months. I don't know how long the IVF process takes before they try to implant - even had a flash of excitement that I could be pregnant before the end of the year!

It's day 13. will try this cycle, as usual. in a halfhearted way.

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