Wednesday, July 24, 2002
letter to a friend:
hiya,
sorry, I forgot whose turn it was or I was overwhelmed by how much you had to say last time or something.
I am hiding down the back of the house; the owner's exhusband left a msg saying he was "dropping over" to get some stuff, but I think he may have been and gone and discovered he doesn't have a key to the new security door lock, which I'm sort of pleased about. we are after all paying rent here. plus place is a mess.
so, the bellybutton thing: I must have been too pissed off to mail you.
where to start? surgery makes you feel crap. they put two bags of saline solution into me before my blood pressure was OK.
I still had the drip in when a. came to get me, great for guilt factor.
I have three scars and bruises - they are very tender, but getting better. took the whole week off and hardly got out of my pj's, though I did some easy home-basd work.
the bad news is the blue dye didn't go through. so either my tubes or uterus are blocked. plus my uterus looks swollen - as if I was 6 weeks pregnant but I'm not.
good news is there was clear evidence of ovulation. I have to go to that ultrasound place to see a FEMALE specialist on Friday; she will put saline solution and ultrasound for blockages, kind of like radar.
very annoyed that I cancelled an appt with my backup dr - one who operated on me is highly pregnant - and now find it takes 2 months to get in to see backup, and she's the uterus/ivf specialist.
best case will be it's a blocked tube and they fix it. next best is ivf (and probably TWINS or TRIPLETS or WORSE). worst case is my womb is horribly deformed and I can't carry a child.
fuckfuckfuck.
so that was a fun week, huh? only sat on the floor with dog and cried once, which I thought was pretty good of me. plus I was premenstrual.
the disease *you* have is wifeandmotherhood. it's only 1/2 curable, I hear. I do feel for you; I don't seem to be resenting other people's babies (yet) so that is good.
saw M. monday. did not tell her why I'd been off sick for a week. feel I have no connection to her. have not heard from R., save an SMS exchange on his b'day. I think he's well.
I fly out on August 22. I feel really bad about it. I will be packing on the 21st, and have a class on the night of the 19th; can I see you on the night of the 20th or sometime on the 21st? assume you won't be very mobile? do you have a place to stay?
when are you due again? I'm back on the 16th september, and on the hunt for a new place to live then.
gotta go, the Web ties up the phone line. sorry for all the gory details, gotta tell someone. have some sympathetic mates, others appear not very interested in my fertility problems. mostly the ones that have kids....
>Subject: Re: blah blah
>Date: Wed, 24 Jul 2002 07:26:01 +0000
>
>
>No word from you.
>I hope you have recovered well from the nasty people sticking their
>nasty things in your belly button?
>Will be home Aug 18 - oh god, oh god.
>I just want to stay here and forget it ever happened. Unfortunately
>the heartburn wont let me.
>
>Trust you're not working too hard.
>I have cooked twice in the last week. I think I have a disease.
>XXX
>K
>
hiya,
sorry, I forgot whose turn it was or I was overwhelmed by how much you had to say last time or something.
I am hiding down the back of the house; the owner's exhusband left a msg saying he was "dropping over" to get some stuff, but I think he may have been and gone and discovered he doesn't have a key to the new security door lock, which I'm sort of pleased about. we are after all paying rent here. plus place is a mess.
so, the bellybutton thing: I must have been too pissed off to mail you.
where to start? surgery makes you feel crap. they put two bags of saline solution into me before my blood pressure was OK.
I still had the drip in when a. came to get me, great for guilt factor.
I have three scars and bruises - they are very tender, but getting better. took the whole week off and hardly got out of my pj's, though I did some easy home-basd work.
the bad news is the blue dye didn't go through. so either my tubes or uterus are blocked. plus my uterus looks swollen - as if I was 6 weeks pregnant but I'm not.
good news is there was clear evidence of ovulation. I have to go to that ultrasound place to see a FEMALE specialist on Friday; she will put saline solution and ultrasound for blockages, kind of like radar.
very annoyed that I cancelled an appt with my backup dr - one who operated on me is highly pregnant - and now find it takes 2 months to get in to see backup, and she's the uterus/ivf specialist.
best case will be it's a blocked tube and they fix it. next best is ivf (and probably TWINS or TRIPLETS or WORSE). worst case is my womb is horribly deformed and I can't carry a child.
fuckfuckfuck.
so that was a fun week, huh? only sat on the floor with dog and cried once, which I thought was pretty good of me. plus I was premenstrual.
the disease *you* have is wifeandmotherhood. it's only 1/2 curable, I hear. I do feel for you; I don't seem to be resenting other people's babies (yet) so that is good.
saw M. monday. did not tell her why I'd been off sick for a week. feel I have no connection to her. have not heard from R., save an SMS exchange on his b'day. I think he's well.
I fly out on August 22. I feel really bad about it. I will be packing on the 21st, and have a class on the night of the 19th; can I see you on the night of the 20th or sometime on the 21st? assume you won't be very mobile? do you have a place to stay?
when are you due again? I'm back on the 16th september, and on the hunt for a new place to live then.
gotta go, the Web ties up the phone line. sorry for all the gory details, gotta tell someone. have some sympathetic mates, others appear not very interested in my fertility problems. mostly the ones that have kids....
>Subject: Re: blah blah
>Date: Wed, 24 Jul 2002 07:26:01 +0000
>
>
>No word from you.
>I hope you have recovered well from the nasty people sticking their
>nasty things in your belly button?
>Will be home Aug 18 - oh god, oh god.
>I just want to stay here and forget it ever happened. Unfortunately
>the heartburn wont let me.
>
>Trust you're not working too hard.
>I have cooked twice in the last week. I think I have a disease.
>XXX
>K
>
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