Friday, July 26, 2002
now I know why they use an anaesthetic. it HURTS when the cervix is forced open. like the worst cramps I've ever had. apparently they usually do that procedure - putting dye and saline solution into the uterus - on women who have had kids. I couldn't go straight to work afterwards, I had to go get a coffee at the market and have a little weep. husband came down from work to see me after I called him, which was sweet. surprised how sooky I'm still feeling about it, 10 hours later. I guess I just wasn't expecting that much pain from an ultrasound.
anyway, yes, I have kidneys, yes I have ovaries with plenty of follicles. no, the dye didn't go through this time either. there was a small fibroid but she pretty much dismissed that as a cause or any kind of problem. my uterus is not horribly deformed in her opinion.
so the tubes are blocked, bottom line. you can't really see the blockage - the whole thing just looks like a grey mass to me until she points out what's what - but they're blocked. so in two months when we finally get in to see new dr, K.S., we will mostly likely be put straight onto IVF. so now I know.
it's taking some getting used to. but I guess I will. I just hope husband really will be supportive and help me through it. am wondering how I'll be with hormones, and my God, the process of getting eggs out (needles?) and putting them in (more pain like this morning). not really the fun way to get pregnant, is it? and I'm trying not to worry about IVF success rates; am assuming that if we have good eggs, good sperm and a good uterus it will be fine.
at times like this I'm glad I have this space to rabbit on about it without any judgements, sympathy or other interferences with just getting it straight in my own head. don't even have thoughts of being so desperate to conceive. just mulling on it, trying to get used to my new role as a "subfertile" IVF patient.
bother!
anyway, yes, I have kidneys, yes I have ovaries with plenty of follicles. no, the dye didn't go through this time either. there was a small fibroid but she pretty much dismissed that as a cause or any kind of problem. my uterus is not horribly deformed in her opinion.
so the tubes are blocked, bottom line. you can't really see the blockage - the whole thing just looks like a grey mass to me until she points out what's what - but they're blocked. so in two months when we finally get in to see new dr, K.S., we will mostly likely be put straight onto IVF. so now I know.
it's taking some getting used to. but I guess I will. I just hope husband really will be supportive and help me through it. am wondering how I'll be with hormones, and my God, the process of getting eggs out (needles?) and putting them in (more pain like this morning). not really the fun way to get pregnant, is it? and I'm trying not to worry about IVF success rates; am assuming that if we have good eggs, good sperm and a good uterus it will be fine.
at times like this I'm glad I have this space to rabbit on about it without any judgements, sympathy or other interferences with just getting it straight in my own head. don't even have thoughts of being so desperate to conceive. just mulling on it, trying to get used to my new role as a "subfertile" IVF patient.
bother!
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