Wednesday, December 18, 2002

 
last night I was already feeling neglected; I'd spent the evening watering the garden at the house, and got back to the flat at 9 to find there wasn't even enough milk in the place for breakfast and the dog hadn't been walked. I realised I've done just as much running around, food shopping and housework and felt just as pressured these past 11 days as normal, and that he hasn't cooked me a single nutritious meal (he really only does pasta), and in general I wasn't being looked after.
then he said "my work Christmas party is on Friday (partners not invited); we don't have anything on, do we?"
no, I said, not apart from me having a pregnancy test Friday morning.

my plan was to call for my results in the afternoon, then tell him when he came home that night. I know he has to go to the work party for PR reasons, but it's the fact he forgot that hurt.

so what do I do? just not tell him until Saturday morning? I won't go into town just to tell him, not the Friday before Christmas, and why should I? nor will I tell him over the phone. and I'm off early on Saturday morning - more watering duties. so the baby might be 3 years old before he gets a chance to hear about it.

I secretly want him to offer to catch a cab home in the afternoon to be with me when I make the call. but I don't think I should have to ask for that, should I?

no period yet. day 14 past ovulation. the dr said the progesterone could delay my normal cycle, which is 12 days. temperature was ?36.9?37.9? this morning, which is equal to the highest I ever go. can't remember which b/c I convert into farenheit. think it must be 36.9 - 37.9 is over 100.

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