Monday, December 09, 2002
possibly the worst case of Mondayitis I've ever had.
woke up feeling very, very sleepy (at 5.45, after going to bed at 9.30) and convinced it hadn't worked. yesterday I did think it was working. I was even sure it was a boy-embryo. but this morning that feeling was gone.
of course it's too early to know any such thing. but I think the past five days have just caught up on me, I'm still annoyed that I agreed to go over to our house at lunchtime and water the garden in the hot sun yesterday, which knocked me out for the rest of the day, and even more annoyed that my husband asked me to do it, to collect his motorbike.
my ovaries were hurting more than either Saturday or Sunday - the Dr did say they might stay bloated for a few days - and I was just tired. but not, I think, pregnant-tired.
in the end I lay in bed for a while staring at the wall, slept for another 1/2 an hour and I've called in and left a message saying I'd rather not come in. there's work I can do at home and I did spend two hours of the day after OPU working here.
I can also do some of my outside-work work, get the washing put away and have an afternoon nap. the world can wait until tomorrow.
next time, I'm going to refuse to do anything. I'm going to do easy stuff at work, sneak off for naps and maybe even pull a few days' leave. I really feel like I haven't rested enough for this to work - even though I also think I should exercise, which I don't find stressful(did a couple of decent walks yesterday) - and I feel husband hasn't really taken on that message. He tries, in a nice sort of way, but perhaps doesn't have the energy himself to jump in and do all the washing, cooking and bedlinen-changing which I've done the past few days. I should do the cooking anyway - he's just not that good at it and pasta isn't the best incubation food.
so I'm feeling very sorry for myself, sad and unenthusiastic. might go off and surf some implantation information, even though I'm no longer visualising it actually happening to me right now.
and even though there are 9 frozen embies, that doesn't make me less unhappy about my belief that this one hasn't worked. it was so pretty with its four little cells.
woke up feeling very, very sleepy (at 5.45, after going to bed at 9.30) and convinced it hadn't worked. yesterday I did think it was working. I was even sure it was a boy-embryo. but this morning that feeling was gone.
of course it's too early to know any such thing. but I think the past five days have just caught up on me, I'm still annoyed that I agreed to go over to our house at lunchtime and water the garden in the hot sun yesterday, which knocked me out for the rest of the day, and even more annoyed that my husband asked me to do it, to collect his motorbike.
my ovaries were hurting more than either Saturday or Sunday - the Dr did say they might stay bloated for a few days - and I was just tired. but not, I think, pregnant-tired.
in the end I lay in bed for a while staring at the wall, slept for another 1/2 an hour and I've called in and left a message saying I'd rather not come in. there's work I can do at home and I did spend two hours of the day after OPU working here.
I can also do some of my outside-work work, get the washing put away and have an afternoon nap. the world can wait until tomorrow.
next time, I'm going to refuse to do anything. I'm going to do easy stuff at work, sneak off for naps and maybe even pull a few days' leave. I really feel like I haven't rested enough for this to work - even though I also think I should exercise, which I don't find stressful(did a couple of decent walks yesterday) - and I feel husband hasn't really taken on that message. He tries, in a nice sort of way, but perhaps doesn't have the energy himself to jump in and do all the washing, cooking and bedlinen-changing which I've done the past few days. I should do the cooking anyway - he's just not that good at it and pasta isn't the best incubation food.
so I'm feeling very sorry for myself, sad and unenthusiastic. might go off and surf some implantation information, even though I'm no longer visualising it actually happening to me right now.
and even though there are 9 frozen embies, that doesn't make me less unhappy about my belief that this one hasn't worked. it was so pretty with its four little cells.
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