Wednesday, August 06, 2003
right, well, I guess I could see this as a test of my character. how well will I deal with what is really, truly shaping up as three months of chronic pain whenever I walk? went to have a small lunch today; walked a whole two city blocks in search of a tram, then 1/2 a block to the lunch place. could hardly face the walk back.
feel very grumpy with anyone who so much as brushes up against me.
had a bit of a meltdown with dh this morning about just how helpless I feel, how I feel I don't have time to focus on the baby thing; partly triggered by last night's "partners" class, which was nice but made me realise we have a lot of work to do if he's to really learn how to massage me in the right spots, and also how little time I do spend mentally connecting with/visualising the baby.
am going to stop work at 34 weeks. bugger it. I will be very slow by then, probably still in pain every time I walk (REALLY needing the afternoon naps plus an application of an ice pack afterwards to both back and head!) and there will still be a lot to do. and still have that hunch that Mr Wibbly may opt to appear as early as October 18, which would mean only 4 weeks off, not 6. and it was never a matter of money; dh is spending much more on automating the house than I earn in 10 weeks! it's more about being useful and hanging onto my past life. but as I can no longer ride my bike or even shop at the market, and as the income has to run out at some stage, I had better start adjusting gracefully. must have the Money Talk with him this weekend...
in other news, the woman who runs the place we often eat at noticed I was pg today - I was wishing her waitress, who is off to have her second, well - and said I was tiny for 6 months! I feel gynormous.
feel very grumpy with anyone who so much as brushes up against me.
had a bit of a meltdown with dh this morning about just how helpless I feel, how I feel I don't have time to focus on the baby thing; partly triggered by last night's "partners" class, which was nice but made me realise we have a lot of work to do if he's to really learn how to massage me in the right spots, and also how little time I do spend mentally connecting with/visualising the baby.
am going to stop work at 34 weeks. bugger it. I will be very slow by then, probably still in pain every time I walk (REALLY needing the afternoon naps plus an application of an ice pack afterwards to both back and head!) and there will still be a lot to do. and still have that hunch that Mr Wibbly may opt to appear as early as October 18, which would mean only 4 weeks off, not 6. and it was never a matter of money; dh is spending much more on automating the house than I earn in 10 weeks! it's more about being useful and hanging onto my past life. but as I can no longer ride my bike or even shop at the market, and as the income has to run out at some stage, I had better start adjusting gracefully. must have the Money Talk with him this weekend...
in other news, the woman who runs the place we often eat at noticed I was pg today - I was wishing her waitress, who is off to have her second, well - and said I was tiny for 6 months! I feel gynormous.
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