Tuesday, August 19, 2003
yawn. another weird 4 am hour-long wakeup. followed by a stupid early start to deal with renovation issues. this is my life.
got a call last night from the birth class organiser, checking what food we'd bring and reminding me what stuff to bring. thought no
more of it. arrived at work to find my pg colleague had taken great exception. the woman, probably a student, had got her partner to put her on the phone to discuss arrangments - a big no-no of course, to make that assumption that she was in charge of food and stuff.
which brings me to this morning's meltdown; dh has let me take up the slack in several urgent matters, including fixing up the insurance repairs on my car, which he was driving when it was rear-ended. and I know it comes back to the fact I'll be not working at all soon, but I told him it was being accepted a bit too readily that I would do all this renovation-wrangling and general business at the expense of my work, not his (dog needs to go to vet: he's got a work dinner: I leave work early. etc)
it's not as if he's supporting me; these days off are my HOLIDAYS. hah. some holiday. I guess I can only be glad it's keeping my stress levels at normally high, rather than the overload they'd be at if I was trying to work my full hours. but it's taking time out even when I am at work. yes, he earns 2.5 times what I do. big deal. I have only 5 weeks left to get a lot done, and I wouldn't mind the mental liberty to do so.
ob/gyn appt yesterday was also annoying. no sweet foods or fruit. running late due to delivery. horrid sugar drink at 11.30, quick ob/gyn visit at 12, with anti-D shot in backside, blood test at 12.30. no news = good news.
but the baby is the right size, was head down, though moving around constantly, and of course there was that heartbeat. which I'm no so excited about now that I'm getting constant kicks and wriggles from this, what? 1 kilogram? creature that lives inside me.
thinking last night when I was awake: how are women supposed to selflessly devote themselves to their children, give their all, while of course not becoming smothering mothers or living through their children? is it possible to be a good mother and a fulfilled person? Lord I hope so...
got a call last night from the birth class organiser, checking what food we'd bring and reminding me what stuff to bring. thought no
more of it. arrived at work to find my pg colleague had taken great exception. the woman, probably a student, had got her partner to put her on the phone to discuss arrangments - a big no-no of course, to make that assumption that she was in charge of food and stuff.
which brings me to this morning's meltdown; dh has let me take up the slack in several urgent matters, including fixing up the insurance repairs on my car, which he was driving when it was rear-ended. and I know it comes back to the fact I'll be not working at all soon, but I told him it was being accepted a bit too readily that I would do all this renovation-wrangling and general business at the expense of my work, not his (dog needs to go to vet: he's got a work dinner: I leave work early. etc)
it's not as if he's supporting me; these days off are my HOLIDAYS. hah. some holiday. I guess I can only be glad it's keeping my stress levels at normally high, rather than the overload they'd be at if I was trying to work my full hours. but it's taking time out even when I am at work. yes, he earns 2.5 times what I do. big deal. I have only 5 weeks left to get a lot done, and I wouldn't mind the mental liberty to do so.
ob/gyn appt yesterday was also annoying. no sweet foods or fruit. running late due to delivery. horrid sugar drink at 11.30, quick ob/gyn visit at 12, with anti-D shot in backside, blood test at 12.30. no news = good news.
but the baby is the right size, was head down, though moving around constantly, and of course there was that heartbeat. which I'm no so excited about now that I'm getting constant kicks and wriggles from this, what? 1 kilogram? creature that lives inside me.
thinking last night when I was awake: how are women supposed to selflessly devote themselves to their children, give their all, while of course not becoming smothering mothers or living through their children? is it possible to be a good mother and a fulfilled person? Lord I hope so...
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