Friday, October 03, 2003

 
maybe it's a kind of nesting thing, or an urge to get the most out of these last few weeks - days? - of being a single human being rather than part of a kind of symbiotic creature. maybe it's my existing tendency to be solitary, magnified by the changes I'm going through. maybe I'm just an ungrateful friend. but rather than pleased, I feel a little put-upon with each new phone call and proposal that someone drop over or in one case, even come and stay the night. now that people know I'm at home, or have realised they have to see me NOW if they want to do so before the baby comes, the number of calls has jumped markedly, some of them from people who really should have made the effort to turn up to the housewarming rather than require a separate visit. but many are also people I do want to see, whom I really can't say no to; old friends, my mother for the best part of a day, I have a friend coming from overseas, etc.

and of course I'd really like to get that quality time with dh, whose parents will themselves be back from overseas and wanting time with us soon.

not sure what to do about it. plug on with the essential shopping and tidying up, I suppose, refuse to do anything midafternoon because without naps I'm stuffed. multitask people maybe - let them come Tuesday if they decide to, but get someone else here then as well. try to find the stillness in my relaxing time, the times I manage to just sit, or do my exercises, or read, or walk the dog.

there is certainly a sense of a deadline now, of not being pregnant for much longer.


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