Friday, November 28, 2003
hmph. next time, to try to get through naturally, we're not only hiring a caring yet professional midwife to wrangle the medical side of things, we're NOT telling dh's family what hospital we're going to. turns out dh's mother called the hospital and extracted information from them just after A. was born, against what we'd asked her to do and what we'd told the hospital in our birth plan. yes, I'm being picky, but I really felt pressured and none of it helped me get on with having a baby.
I reminded her that we'd said we'd call them when we had news, and mentioned we'd had to tell SIL to stop calling (which of course she knows all about), and she too came out with the "it wasn't pressure/curiousity, just concern for you" line. since when was second-guessing what I need "concern"? I'm perfectly capable of saying what I want. this morning she caught a later flight into town and didn't call to tell me because she "didn't want to disturb me" - this is a mere hour before I was expecting her to arrive here. then she rang 90 minutes late on arrival and when I said it was getting a bit late, sounded so disappointed of course I had to let her come over, and felt bad for keeping it to an hour. she's not as direct as SIL, but still gets what she wants.
(I know we'll have to tell them which hospital: but I am SO being upfront and clear, words of one syllable: Do Not Call Us. I Will Need DH's Full Focus (OK, two), And Wish To Be Left ALONE!.
I know I sound awful: the thing is that with my own family/friends I can be much more direct. wth inlaws, these in particular, I feel I have to be polite, and it's a strain.
in other news, it's hot outside, and there are no blinds on the back windows yet. am shamelessly running the a/c. think I'll sleep out here with A. on the hot nights: terrified to do anything against the SIDS rules, even though right now he's asleep on his side. am checking him every 5 minutes. last night I nearly woke him just to take a blanket off. sanity prevailed and he slept 5 hours. what a good son he is.
I reminded her that we'd said we'd call them when we had news, and mentioned we'd had to tell SIL to stop calling (which of course she knows all about), and she too came out with the "it wasn't pressure/curiousity, just concern for you" line. since when was second-guessing what I need "concern"? I'm perfectly capable of saying what I want. this morning she caught a later flight into town and didn't call to tell me because she "didn't want to disturb me" - this is a mere hour before I was expecting her to arrive here. then she rang 90 minutes late on arrival and when I said it was getting a bit late, sounded so disappointed of course I had to let her come over, and felt bad for keeping it to an hour. she's not as direct as SIL, but still gets what she wants.
(I know we'll have to tell them which hospital: but I am SO being upfront and clear, words of one syllable: Do Not Call Us. I Will Need DH's Full Focus (OK, two), And Wish To Be Left ALONE!.
I know I sound awful: the thing is that with my own family/friends I can be much more direct. wth inlaws, these in particular, I feel I have to be polite, and it's a strain.
in other news, it's hot outside, and there are no blinds on the back windows yet. am shamelessly running the a/c. think I'll sleep out here with A. on the hot nights: terrified to do anything against the SIDS rules, even though right now he's asleep on his side. am checking him every 5 minutes. last night I nearly woke him just to take a blanket off. sanity prevailed and he slept 5 hours. what a good son he is.
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