Saturday, December 27, 2003

 
I thought I wanted a girl. it was one of those secret thoughts that you brush aside, because it's wrong and courting disaster to boot. but I secretly thought I'd be more pleased with a girl.

and he's a boy. and now I cannot imagine anything I want more than to have a boy child, a young man in the making. To look forward to seeing him grow big and strong, with my dh and my father and brothers and my male side all mixed up in him. and I can't quite get my head around what I'd do with a girl anyway - another female in the household. a boy will, of course, adore his mother, never pass judgement on her and certainly not spend his teenage years hating her or reminding her how old she's got. at least, that's my fond hope now.

I'm so glad I've got a boy. and if I get another, I'll be even happier. if I never have a daughter, that's OK now. you can't want things to be other than they are.

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