Monday, July 12, 2004

 
it wasn't that hard really. listening to my baby cry for 40 minutes, I mean.

put him down a tad late (dh is away and I had to take him out for takeaway). at 10 I went to bed, had trouble sleeping. at 10.45 he sooked. so I fed him. back into bed. sometime, I guess around 11.30 when I'd just gone to sleep, he cried again.

and I didn't go in. maybe it was because I was more rested and could afford to lose the sleep that I could have got by patting him down and giving him his dummy. more likely, though, it was the realisation that this is insane. that one undisturbed night has made me realise just how bad, how stupid, this getting up five times a night thing has got. that I want my nights back.

so I read my "baby settling" printout (the one that says close the door.) I read my book. I hoped the neighbours couldn't hear him. I listened to the rage, the tears, the sobs. and at 12.10 he went back to sleep.

(at 1 he sooked again and I gave him the dummy. I'm not superhuman, you know)

but then he slept until 6.15 without a peep. interesting, no? I'm fairly shattered today - basically only got 5 hours, then a one-hour nap at 7.30. but if I can, I'm doing it again tonight. now that I've started, I have to be consistent with the message.

yawn.

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