Wednesday, August 04, 2004

 
I keep meaning to write about all the things I really love about him - the way he throws his head back and laughs when I tickle him, the one-two rhythm of his crawl, the way he casts his head down, looks up and crosses his legs over each other when he's flirting with people.

but I am sometimes overtaken by the things I find hard - the way when I'm really tired I find myself bumping into doorframes and keeping my movements small and close in to my body, the 5.30 am wakeup when I can't get back to sleep but he drops off again until nearly 7 (and the running total of lost sleep hours that my mind won't let go of.)

we're booked in for our trip home - I've realised a bit too late that maybe a 7pm flight isn't such a good idea, not when we land at 6.20, meaning 4.20 HK time - and that there will probably be a forced "breakfast" around 3 am. perhaps day flights aren't as bad as all that?

today's a playdate with a woman with an older baby. when I'm feeling OK, this kind of thing is good. when I've had a few bad nights, like today, it seems all too hard and I wonder why I insist on going out at all.


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