Sunday, December 05, 2004

I've always felt that events were, to some extent, within my control. yes, I'm a stress bunny, anxious. but part of that has been the inner me shrieking: "don't just sit there, do something."

so now that they've finished hacking up my body, I have to move onto what I can do. postive affirmations aside, it's likely that cancer cells are floating around in me, looking for a place to set up shop.

to stop - or, I suppose, slow - them, we will be doing chemotherapy (to kill 'em off) and hormonal therapy (more to put them to sleep). oncologist on Tuesday will tell me more.

at the same time, I am feeling like sticking to my no-dairy, mostly organic diet (I was already fairly organic when I got this, mind you. it seems to me that depriving this thing of resources is a good idea. and there is still the chance of a new cancer in the other breast that I have to deal with. more of the same may not help.

meanwhile I am drawing up a list of things that I need to take/eat/etc. soy products are still under a cloud. milk is off. melatonin is being studied for its preventative properties. I think I still have some, and I wonder if my poor sleep could be related to this? I might start taking it again. don't think you can buy it in Australia, but I suppose I'll get it from somewhere.

there are also the mysterious Conjugated linoleic acids, which may also slow down metastasis.

yes I'm thinking positively. it might all be gone already. but if it's not, if this is what I'll die of, let's make that a very long way off indeed, OK? and you never know. someone might come up with the cure yet...

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