Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Lou Reed got me in the guts today.
I was playing on the floor with the baby while dh farted around on the laptop and our music came up randomly off iTunes.
and at one point I started feeling really sad. I started thinking about next year, about going past March, when our next baby was supposed to start, about how I'd deal with all the other happy mummies in my mothers' group (though there's at least one won't be going back for #2 due to genetic factors).
then I realised what was doing it: Lou, making a guitar and feedback sound like the loneliest violin in the improbably named "like a possum".
and don't tell me I should be happy with the one perfect baby I have. Even Julie, only a few days past a difficult birth, is grieving that second child. we are allowed to want what we want.
I was playing on the floor with the baby while dh farted around on the laptop and our music came up randomly off iTunes.
and at one point I started feeling really sad. I started thinking about next year, about going past March, when our next baby was supposed to start, about how I'd deal with all the other happy mummies in my mothers' group (though there's at least one won't be going back for #2 due to genetic factors).
then I realised what was doing it: Lou, making a guitar and feedback sound like the loneliest violin in the improbably named "like a possum".
and don't tell me I should be happy with the one perfect baby I have. Even Julie, only a few days past a difficult birth, is grieving that second child. we are allowed to want what we want.
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