Sunday, January 02, 2005

little time to blog lately - dh has been around the house and I've been using the time that frees up to unpack boxes from Hong Kong and to get some serious writing done, plus of course spending time with him. plus this blog is supposedly secret so I have to stay off it when he's around, not that he seems interested in what I'm writing.

I suppose I should be more grateful for those eight embies. without them, if we'd conceived naturally earlier, I might have discovered the cancer halfway through a second pregnancy. and then what would we have done? or we could have had none frozen, and now no prospect at all of another baby. but they are so tantalizing, so clearly unusable unless I find a way to use a surrogate or convince myself that it's safe to be pregnant with a hormone-munching cancer lurking in the wings. sent off my law reform commission submission today...

silly things people say: a MIL of a mothers' group friend commented the other day "who does he (A) look like? he looks nothing like either of you". I could have said "he's adopted" or "no, we used donor gametes". that would have shut her up.

and not so silly, though potentially equally or more hurtful if said to the wrong woman: I was in my favourite discount shop last week and a woman asked me "do you have girls?". at first I thought she meant girls' clothes and I explained I didn't work there. then I realised she meant girl children (she had two). the thing is, I was baby-free at the time. it kind of pleased me that I must look like a mum (haggard, that is!!). but imagine if I hadn't won the baby lottery?

hair report: falling like autumn leaves. if I tried, I think I could pull it all out now. going to try for a hairdresser tomorrow to get it cut short as possible, if only to minimise the mess on my bedroom floor.

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