Friday, January 14, 2005

what did I do wrong? (apart from waiting four months to check a lump!)

was I not grateful enough? I thought I was. I knew my little boy was a miracle. I cherished every second. what, exactly, is it that means I - and he - deserve the threat of him growing up motherless?

I know there is no answer. that we are tied to these bodies and things just happen to us, and our minds/souls/hearts have to make sense of it - or not. but still I am angry. I was grateful enough. I know I've been lucky. why punish me?

/bit of a sook/

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