Friday, June 24, 2005

 
work vent: so I asked to come back in one day a week to do the little freelance thing I was just sacked from. and my manager has told me he wants me to come back to the area I was in before. which I am so not ready to do. I am not ready for full days. I'm not even sure if I'm ready to do work that involves outside contact/going out on jobs. I don't know what I'm ready for, frankly. but I could do that little freelance thing, and I've been a good worker for seven years, more if you count my casual years, and I've been away for nearly two years and I'm in cancer treatment, dammit, and I don't think it was too much to ask, to do just a little easy thing for a couple of months while I got back into it.

and if they insist on the old job or not at all, they can get fucked, as far as I'm concerned. so much for family-friendly policies, yada yada. I'd rather not have the money and not drive myself crazy trying to put in 9-6 days while my life is still in turmoil. I don't know how I'm going to be with the daily grind; I'm getting more emotional about my life expectancy, not less, and the banality of it all might not work for me right now. and we don't NEED the money. I just needed a life. on my terms. funny how I've not cried for ages, and this got me sobbing. stupid managers. they just don't get it. he's a nice guy and all, but clearly looking out for his own area's interests rather than mine. am I right to feel aggrieved?

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