Monday, September 19, 2005
I used to be strong. I used to push through, no matter what. if I was tired, I'd drink coffee; now I nap. if there was a fight, I'd charge in; now I wonder if it's worth it.
I want that back. not all of it, as some of it my older self can see was pointless youthful burning off of energy. but when it matters, I want to be able to transcend my human boundaries; my physical tiredness, my mind's belief that it can only think so many new thoughts in a day; I want to be able to put my whole self into achieving what matters. I want life to be a ride again, not a drag.
(can you tell I'm on a scary deadline?)
A report: has a new stroller (his fourth if you count the bike trailer), which folds up into a little bag for airline use. also various new toys and a CD to teach him French. this is why I keep out of baby stuff shops most of the time...
parents due any minute, must keep working on deadline.
I want that back. not all of it, as some of it my older self can see was pointless youthful burning off of energy. but when it matters, I want to be able to transcend my human boundaries; my physical tiredness, my mind's belief that it can only think so many new thoughts in a day; I want to be able to put my whole self into achieving what matters. I want life to be a ride again, not a drag.
(can you tell I'm on a scary deadline?)
A report: has a new stroller (his fourth if you count the bike trailer), which folds up into a little bag for airline use. also various new toys and a CD to teach him French. this is why I keep out of baby stuff shops most of the time...
parents due any minute, must keep working on deadline.
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