Thursday, September 29, 2005

looking through photo files for a new pic of my little boy to put on the computer desktop, I came across some photos taken in March 2003, when I was one month pregnant. I think I wanted some nude photos as a record before pregnancy changed my body. I had long red hair then, and a body I didn't need to hide away. In one photo I have my hand on my hip and I'm looking down at the camera. My tan lines are like pull-up stockings.

and of course I can't help looking at my right breast in these photos, for signs. but there are none. the nipple always was a little bit inverted, it seems. it just looks like a normal little breast.

there are also photos of me seven months pregnant - huge - I can't believe I was ever so big and got bigger - with milk-rounded breasts.

roll on the plastic surgery.

tired today: went out to see garbage. last night. shirley delivered the required rock-concert experience, which was to make me feel strong, as if I could do anything; and as if it was time irrelevant shit should be treated as such.

Hi Baby,
I'm going through the same thing here on the other side of the world. It is good to have a few minutes or hours when youdon't think about the pain, but then you wonder if it is just getting bigger while you are ignoring it. I really feel for you. I know it is not easy.
Take care of yourself,
your friend
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