Thursday, September 29, 2005
looking through photo files for a new pic of my little boy to put on the computer desktop, I came across some photos taken in March 2003, when I was one month pregnant. I think I wanted some nude photos as a record before pregnancy changed my body. I had long red hair then, and a body I didn't need to hide away. In one photo I have my hand on my hip and I'm looking down at the camera. My tan lines are like pull-up stockings.
and of course I can't help looking at my right breast in these photos, for signs. but there are none. the nipple always was a little bit inverted, it seems. it just looks like a normal little breast.
there are also photos of me seven months pregnant - huge - I can't believe I was ever so big and got bigger - with milk-rounded breasts.
roll on the plastic surgery.
tired today: went out to see garbage. last night. shirley delivered the required rock-concert experience, which was to make me feel strong, as if I could do anything; and as if it was time irrelevant shit should be treated as such.
and of course I can't help looking at my right breast in these photos, for signs. but there are none. the nipple always was a little bit inverted, it seems. it just looks like a normal little breast.
there are also photos of me seven months pregnant - huge - I can't believe I was ever so big and got bigger - with milk-rounded breasts.
roll on the plastic surgery.
tired today: went out to see garbage. last night. shirley delivered the required rock-concert experience, which was to make me feel strong, as if I could do anything; and as if it was time irrelevant shit should be treated as such.
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Hi Baby,
I'm going through the same thing here on the other side of the world. It is good to have a few minutes or hours when youdon't think about the pain, but then you wonder if it is just getting bigger while you are ignoring it. I really feel for you. I know it is not easy.
Take care of yourself,
your friend
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I'm going through the same thing here on the other side of the world. It is good to have a few minutes or hours when youdon't think about the pain, but then you wonder if it is just getting bigger while you are ignoring it. I really feel for you. I know it is not easy.
Take care of yourself,
your friend
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