Thursday, February 02, 2006
I stop the car at the ATM: leave him there while I rush to get money out, promising I'll only be a minute. he can of course see me and I him the whole time, I'm only a couple of metres away. I get back into the car and he says "Mummy come back" and I say "Mummy always comes back".
and I know it could be a lie. but I'm going to keep saying it. sometimes I wonder if all this love and affection will be bad for him if I die; if he would cope better if he was less attached to me. but I'm going to keep giving it.
FIL update: he's had a couple of chemo cycles and is back in hospital with unspecified extreme bowel pain. we're hoping it's a chemo side effect. dh is up in Sydney for three nights to see them, so I'm flying solo.
A and I are fine. sometimes it's almost easier by myself (I have childcare two days a week, after all). am amusing myself by compiling rejections for my writing and wondering where to send things next, and by risking thousands daytrading. really. oh, and by putting in last-40-seconds bids on eBay for nice paintings, as it seems to be the only way to get something at a reasonable price. heart-thumping stuff, more so than even the daytrading.
and I know it could be a lie. but I'm going to keep saying it. sometimes I wonder if all this love and affection will be bad for him if I die; if he would cope better if he was less attached to me. but I'm going to keep giving it.
FIL update: he's had a couple of chemo cycles and is back in hospital with unspecified extreme bowel pain. we're hoping it's a chemo side effect. dh is up in Sydney for three nights to see them, so I'm flying solo.
A and I are fine. sometimes it's almost easier by myself (I have childcare two days a week, after all). am amusing myself by compiling rejections for my writing and wondering where to send things next, and by risking thousands daytrading. really. oh, and by putting in last-40-seconds bids on eBay for nice paintings, as it seems to be the only way to get something at a reasonable price. heart-thumping stuff, more so than even the daytrading.
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I pray for you that you will be fine, and live a long and healthy life, filled with great mothering.
Love will always live on, the more the better! You sound like a wonderful Mum.
Felicity. :)
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Love will always live on, the more the better! You sound like a wonderful Mum.
Felicity. :)
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