Sunday, April 29, 2007

have launched on a tidying-up frenzy that all but colour-codes A's toys. I am going to have to throw a few things out behind his back. the side effect is that he can now find his games and puzzles and crayons and is occupying himself a little better. husband (no d right now, as he's displaying the usual indifference to the amount of housework we do respectively, ie me lots, him as little as possible), anyway, husband is going away for 2 nights next week and I felt I had to get this place slightly organised. it's endless of course as when I stop, say, cleaning the kitchen in order to sort toys, I come back to a new round of dishes. which is where a husband who does things he hasn't been directly instructed to do would be useful. tonight, as he's going away tomorrow, I was planning to suggest a bit of cuddling-up action, but I'm so a) tired and b) narked off at his unhelpfulness as I cook a roast, clean up, etc etc, that there is no chance of us being in the same room for the rest of the night. I wonder constantly; is he just not interested in sex with me, or does he have no idea how badly he's going about things? does he assume that as his wife I should just be interested in him? how can he think that he can come home at 7.30 pm, sit on the computer all night after dinner and then have me suddenly hot to trot? I think it's a combination of the two: he doesn't care enough to bother, if you know what I mean.

deep breath.

anyway...the girl I had emailed a couple of times from the surrogacy list emailed me yesterday after a week's silence. she asked me to call her, which was odd. I spent half an hour on the phone to her, counselling her on a situation that has developed where one set of IPs said they couldn't afford to go ahead, but came back with a loan after she'd moved on to new IPs. she felt so torn, but all I could say was that she was doing a good thing no matter what and the situation of the IPs wasn't her fault. and that she should tell them all she was taking a week to think things over; she said "wouldn't that be rude?" and I was like: "rude? it's your body, your life."

after she posted on a discussion list here she was overwhelmed with emails. she said that of them all, I was the only one who didn't ask her for something. that might be because I'm not ready for the surrogacy thing. but it all just underlines why this stuff should be legal, done through clinics, and subject to counselling and regulation. this girl is 25, with 3 kids - an adult all right, but one negotiating an incredibly complext act all by herself. stupid laws.

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