Monday, October 25, 2010

well, I can report something: that messing around in random fashion with a middle-aged woman's hormones makes her stack on weight. or maybe it's the doughnuts...anyway despite riding for an average of an hour a day and swimming for 30 minutes most days, I am officially fat - well over my "panic weight" and moving up the scale. nothing fits and I wobble when I walk.

127.5 pounds may not sound that much, but I'm not tall. and I am so not good at dieting. first step will be cutting out the toast and jam and doughnuts. maybe that will help. but that requires me to stock the house with fresh vegies and fruit, and to be honest, it's driving me crazy how much time I'm spending on medical stuff again - all Friday morning for one thing as I had to bring my mammogram forward, a transfer tomorrow - yes, tomorrow, don't know what time yet - and all Wednesday morning for an ultrasound (breast) and being poked about by my surgeon. and yes it has occurred to me that it's not ideal to have the tx one day and see the surgeon the next - what if something's wrong? - but I have decided to proceed as I am trying to act like I don't have cancer. which I don't.

tried to cut out the morning coffee this morning - got past the soy latte from the bakery on my ride, but weakened when I got home. at least a homemade coffee has fewer calories. and I don't know if I'll be able to pull long weekend rides without a cafe coffee. or get any writing done in the afternoons when I go on my 2-day-uni-finishing escape later this week. but meanwhile, will try to get by with a cup of tea this afternoon. or at least a smaller coffee than usual. caffeine is soooo addictive.

also, in the tmi department: progesterone pessaries are made with cocoa butter. at least my bits will be nicely moisturised. ick.

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