Monday, April 18, 2011
and then there were three...
the negative was pretty horrible as I was so sure I was pregnant. starting to hate the nurse with the oversympathetic manner. and with so few left, it seems increasingly likely that all of this will be for nothing. not sure how I will take that. not well, I suspect. I've lived in hope for so long now, waiting, that to move into a new state will be very hard.
also, it means I now have to do the Very Painful Biopsy. did the Nine Vial Blood Test (ouch) on Saturday. dr discussed with me the poss. of doing the biopsy under anaesthetic, which made me realise how painful it would be. but we can't manage a theatre booking between now and Easter, and I don't want to lose another cycle, so the chair procedure it is. and even then, may still need to do a theatre booking if she decides she wants to "have a look" for scarring etc.
the genetic bloods will take a while to come back and won't make any difference anyway - it's the immune stuff that may affect what we do next. dh hasn't done his test yet.
but assuming nothing shows up on my biopsy and bloods, there is nothing we can do but keep going on the next cycle, with a tx probably in early May, depending when Day 1 is.
am trying to be healthy. sugar is an issue, I think. still having tea instead of coffee in the afternoons. and God knows I'm fit, with all the compulsive stress-relief exercise. wanted to go surfing today but too much work to do and too tired for the drive down and back.
biopsy is tomorrow at the end of a long work/uni day. then at least we're away for a bit over Easter, though I will be popping the pills most likely. not sure if I want her to find something - at least that could be treated -but treatment takes time and is more poking and prodding. rather over the poking and prodding now, after 8 years of IVF/pg/cancer/IVF. mustn't grumble. have child #1.
:)
the negative was pretty horrible as I was so sure I was pregnant. starting to hate the nurse with the oversympathetic manner. and with so few left, it seems increasingly likely that all of this will be for nothing. not sure how I will take that. not well, I suspect. I've lived in hope for so long now, waiting, that to move into a new state will be very hard.
also, it means I now have to do the Very Painful Biopsy. did the Nine Vial Blood Test (ouch) on Saturday. dr discussed with me the poss. of doing the biopsy under anaesthetic, which made me realise how painful it would be. but we can't manage a theatre booking between now and Easter, and I don't want to lose another cycle, so the chair procedure it is. and even then, may still need to do a theatre booking if she decides she wants to "have a look" for scarring etc.
the genetic bloods will take a while to come back and won't make any difference anyway - it's the immune stuff that may affect what we do next. dh hasn't done his test yet.
but assuming nothing shows up on my biopsy and bloods, there is nothing we can do but keep going on the next cycle, with a tx probably in early May, depending when Day 1 is.
am trying to be healthy. sugar is an issue, I think. still having tea instead of coffee in the afternoons. and God knows I'm fit, with all the compulsive stress-relief exercise. wanted to go surfing today but too much work to do and too tired for the drive down and back.
biopsy is tomorrow at the end of a long work/uni day. then at least we're away for a bit over Easter, though I will be popping the pills most likely. not sure if I want her to find something - at least that could be treated -but treatment takes time and is more poking and prodding. rather over the poking and prodding now, after 8 years of IVF/pg/cancer/IVF. mustn't grumble. have child #1.
:)
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