Tuesday, October 18, 2011

 
two days into my naturopath diet; lots of protein, little sugar. I will probably feel great after a fortnight. but really all I can think about is how I should have done this before. also lots of expensive pills.

this is the stuff I need to talk to a counsellor or psych about...this being driven by regret, or avoiding regret. because regret is generally retrospective; if I had known I'd feel like this maybe I"d have worked harder at it. but I really thought maybe, just maybe, it might work. and it didn't.

not having a very good relationship with the world right now. angry and envious and generally pissed off at what has happened.

the next two blood tests will be crucial; if the FSH hasn't gone down on the next one, it might on the one after once I've been back to the naturopath in November for herbs. also have an acupuncture appointment Friday, and hoping to make that regular.

all takes so much time. time I don't really have. but that was why I didn't go in as hard as I could have earlier; trying to maintain a normal life. there are just over seven months left...

half the time I feel like crying.

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