Wednesday, February 08, 2012
don't feel like blogging but putting some things on record...dec cycle no good of course. january fsh 18ish so had a month to travel. got a test while o/s and fsh 7.2, but I still suspect that might have been the dodgy foreign clinic. too good to be true. anyway when I got back things went pearshaped fast; follicle failed to grow, then I started to bleed; diagnosis premature lutenization. so now waiting up to four weeks to start again, that is if the hormone levels settle enough to start. it's February. have pretty much lost all hope. just doing the things that I promised myself I'd do.
saw psychologist for first time yesterday and basically wept for an hour. trying not to now so will be brief. at heart, I don't WANT to adjust to not getting this child.
fuck. it.
saw psychologist for first time yesterday and basically wept for an hour. trying not to now so will be brief. at heart, I don't WANT to adjust to not getting this child.
fuck. it.
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