Tuesday, October 29, 2013

quick post, bit of quiet time while R. sleeping. last night horrible, only a couple of wakeups but badly timed and no sleep-in; how did I ever survive the 5-6 wakeup a night period with A? simply can't allow that to happen again. if I didn't get a sleep this afternoon I'd be heading towards psychotic already...the senses seem to fail a little and I can see how hallucinations or at least misplaced perceptions would be easy in that state.

slowly managing to get past the donor egg thing I think. it's take a while to really fall in love with him; not as immediate as with A. but I am missing him a lot when I'm away from him (which is more than with A thanks to the miracle of breast pumps) and I do love that moment when I unwrap him in his bed and he's all warm and curled up and plump and I can pick up that whole human in my arms and feed him from my body.

he's put on 2 kg in 8 weeks since birth. another reason I feel so buggered I guess.

haven't heard again from my friend who was doing donor eggs; guess she is not in a hurry to see me with my new baby. it's sad and I wish it was otherwise, both for her and for our relationship but I do not resent her attitude. she's been through hell. and eventually we will be friends again.

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