Friday, April 26, 2002

 
day 30: the usual.
I have decided that I probably had PID or chlamydia sometime in the past (I was tested once, but I think they can miss it).
therefore my tubes are probably a grotesque mess and the eggs aren't getting through.
therefore there is no way I'm getting pregnant without surgery etc.
and I should be booking in RIGHT NOW.
but I'm not. I'm going ahead with the plan that involves doing the surgery at the end of the year. I turn 36 next week. the risks of Down's Syndrome etc are rising all the time. but if I go to IVF, we can get a couple of spare embryos tucked away, I hope.
and maybe something will click. it's been a year of cycles now, of which 8 or 9 were red-hot hits on my day of ovulation, and nothing. not even a miscarriage. I'd like to have had a miscarriage. at least I'd know I can conceive.
husband is happy enough with above plan, though would probably like me to go to surgery earlier if we're sure there is a problem.

meanwhile I intend to enjoy the good aspects of childlessness.

waaah!!!

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

 
parental milestones. cute.

 
someone's infertility site I ran across. not hanging around in forums much, I haven't experienced the overload of devoutness of which she complains. but I'm sure it's annoying.
me, I don't intend to pray. I intend to spend a lot of money and time on 21st century medical intervention.

Monday, April 15, 2002

 
funniest search string: how to get conceived ... surely if they're typing stuff into search engines, they've managed that already?

 
six out of seven. that sixth was OK, actually.

temperature up, then down. but it's day 21 and I MUST have ovulated by now.

this blog seems to be quite good. has some babymaking content.

Friday, April 12, 2002

 
this is kind of a test b/c my other blog is having publishing problems.

also to say we've had sex five days out of six and I don't care if we never have sex again.

Thursday, April 04, 2002

 
advice on flying while pregnant

 
do I really want to be travelling from weeks 19-23? I guess that's 5-6 months, and I'd be clearly pregnant, but I hope not too heavy to move about. my friend tells me that when you fly, the sac responds to pressure the same way a water bottle does - it scrunches up. sounds unpleasant.

 
hmm. looking at calendar, might miss September too due to when I'm travelling. might make the operation late november, just to give it that one last chance - so we have october and november cycles to try. that's April, May for sure, maybe June, then Oct, Nov for sure. so four or five cycles.

 
finally got to talk to dr about test results.
they're normal, or normal enough - 21.something.
so she thinks I'm ovulating.
like I didn't know that.
anyway, my options are: HSG, which involves blowing dye through my cervix into my fallopian tubes.
upside: no general anaesthetic.
downside: no general anaesthetic
apparently it hurts a lot. it can cause tube spasms and a wrong result, and can miss endometriosis and small adhesions of the f.tube walls.
so laporoscopy (sp?) may be necessary to find out what's going on down there.

so I have April, May and June to try naturally. I think I've been ovulating late - day 17/18 - so will adjust our sex schedule accordingly. If that doesn't work, I'll go see her in July and book in for the lapothingy in November.

then we'll skip July and August (I'll be travelling in August and don't want to be less than two months' pregnant, maybe three, so may skip June) but still have September and October before she's back from her own leave in early November to do the operation.

that's three or four more natural cycles. then I'll be 36 1/2 and not pregnant, and if that happens, I guess I do whatever operations, pills and horribleness is necessary.

 
in the op shop today I saw a copy of my fertility charting book for only $3.50.
however, I realised that of all the people I knew who were trying to get pregnant - mainly K and the ex-boyfriend - there are none left who aren't.
there's my cousin, who will have to reluctantly do it in a year or two (her husband is keener than her, she having a fine appreciation of the difference between free childlessness and the commitment of a family), but apart from that? no one.

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

 
K, who is down from PNG for three days, called this morning and invited me to her ultrasound.
this was the first time she'd seen a proper dr. apart from the woeful manners of the specialist, the nurse was very nice, and surfed all over K's belly with the reader thing.
she's 15 1/2 weeks, and it was quite amazing. all the little fingers and toes were visible, and you could even see its spine
the connection between the slight bulge on her belly and the clearly human creature on the screen was hard to make. it's only 18-20 cm long now, but has a proper face and even beat its tiny fists at one stage.
dr would not say whether it's a girl or boy yet; but it was conceived on day 10 and we certainly couldn't see any male genitalia, we think it's sure to be a girl.
she's not back until August, a couple of weeks before she's due, and I feel bad that I'll probably be away until a couple of days before it's born. It was so good to see her again, and really a privilege to see her baby before its father (who is back in PNG) even could (she now has a video and photographs of it)

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